Thursday, May 25, 2006

Life is like a "toco salid".....

Life is like a "toco salid" all mixed up, a little spicy, a few hard bites, but overall tasty. Or should I say zesty? Of course, you are probably wondering why I spelled that wrong. Me, of all people, who is like a walking spell checker, spelling two words wrong, in a row! Well, simple. Kierra used to spell those words exactly as they appear. She had a habit of spelling things phonetically, or how they sound. I thought about that last night. It was one of her quirks. She had been making a grocery list, and spelled those words, along with a few others, wrong. I used to pick at her for them. She would generally hit me, or call me some four to five letter explicative. This has been one of those rough weeks. I thought about her a lot. Sometimes I cannot help but cry over the times we shared. The memories are still so tender, so raw. They are bittersweet at times. I love to think of her, remember all the good times, remember her face, her laugh. Then I remember it is gone from this world forever. I feel selfish saying or writing it, but I want her back. I want my big sister, the only sister I ever had. She can never be replaced, or set aside. Just held onto, cherished, remembered forever with happiness. I still miss her so much, it seems like yesterday everything happened, when it has been over 6 months. So much has changed.
Justin was in a car accident last Friday. He was stopped with traffic, and a mustang going 45-50 mph hit him from behind. He hit his head, but was okay. He came to the ER and got looked at and they cleared him. It just worried me. He had been on the way home from work, was going to the bank, and bam! I admit I was very scared. It just brought so much back.
Well, on a lighter note! Tuesday was Hunter's day. I took him to the park, to lunch, to his appointment, and then for ice cream. He loved it. We are all going to Phantom of the Opera this Saturday. I can't wait! I love musicals! It is awesome to see them performed live!
Well, I have depressed you enough, so I will let it be for now, and try to write again soon. TTFN!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Busy, busy, busy...

Oh my goodness! I have been one busy little worker bee! I hurt my hip last week and had to take some time off, but have been more than making up for it this week. It has been hectic, but I just keep repeating to myself one word to keep going: overtime. That helps some.
Last weekend was busy too. Friday Justin picked up Hunter and he got to stay at our house. We took him to dinner and a movie. He enjoyed the one-on-one time with us. Saturday he and I went to moms to help with the twins and get ready for a mother's day banquet at the church. It was bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, it was very nice, but just rough at times. While the twins took their nap afterwards, mom and I moved some stuff out of storage. We are an awesome team when there is stuff to move. That night Justin and I took the kids to the zoo. My work, the hospital, has an employee night every year. We wore the kids out and kept them all at our house for the night. I got to borrow mom's van too! It was different, but a lot easier with all three kids plus the double stroller. Sunday we took them all to church, and I got to sing in the worship part of the am service. I did okay, but it was a little hard to sing while crying for the first verse! It had been a rough morning. I was overwhelmed by my emotions.
Hunter had his pre-k graduation last night. He was such a little man. He had a part in acting out a nursery rhyme. He was the little boy down the lane for Baa-baa Black Sheep. He gets the acting bug from me! We all went to dinner afterwards, which was also really nice.
Sorry so boring! It has just been a really long week, and I have just worn myself out, but knew I needed to write. I know, I know, I should stop trying to do everything, and learn to pace myself, and not take all these extra shifts, and try to leave on time. What can I say, I am just a good little doobie! I do no leave til my relief is here, and I do not leave if it is really busy either! Sorry! Well, enough idle chit-chat for now. I will try to be more interesting next time!

Thursday, May 04, 2006


"Mem'ries,Like the corners of my mind,Misty water-colored memories,Of the way we were...."
Those lyrics were running through my mind this morning. I have thought about Kierra a lot this week. I went to bake cookies last week, such a domestic thing for me, and remembered Kierra had left some in the freezer when she lived here. Tears sprung to my eyes when I opened the container only to find her chocolate stash. It made me laugh too. I had never gone into the container before. It was hers, she left it there, I want to leave it there. Good old Kie, still pulling pranks on me! Then last night, while studying for my statistics exam, I saw the figurine mom had gotten me for Christmas. Two girls on a bench, one long haired brunette, the other with short hair. The meaning behind it finally hit me. One of the last things Kierra and I did together was lay in my bed and just talk. She had a lot of stuff on her mind, and just really needed me to talk to. I kept making her laugh. We had turned on the radio so the guys couldn't hear us, and I would hear a song I knew and sing to her. I miss those times. There has been so much I wanted to talk to her about, questions about stuff in my life I knew she would have answers to. But the answers are gone. I find them in other places. It is still really hard no longer having my big sister. We were apart for so long, both on different paths, and they had finally met and converged into one.
"Then the rainstorm came, over me,And I felt my spirit break,I had lost all of my, belief you see,And realized my mistake,But time threw a prayer, to me,And all around me became still..."
Sorry! That Seal song came to me too. I have a penchant for things like that. I usually have a song in my head, or on my heart. They help me express myself sometimes. I have a passion for music. It has been a kind of release for me the past few years. I guess everybody needs something to help them through things. Well, enough depressing drivel for now. Just had to put my thoughts out there before I got too depressed. Thanks for reading!