Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th of October

Who would have thunk that this day would actually get to me,and not in the whole superstitious way. Yesterday was actually a pretty good day. Went to work, went home, took care of the dogs, went to a movie (thanks Bren!), went back home. Justin was in bed already with a headache, so I went and watched tv. My Wife & Kids was on, then Life with Jim, both funny shows. Then I happened to catch the news while flipping channels. They were doing an update on the trial. Apparently, the doctor filed a motion that says Kierra's own actions were responsible for her death. Since his car did not touch hers, there is not enough evidence to charge him. That is the motion. I just sat in shock. Then the phone rang, with a worried friend on the other end. I finally broke down. I had to call someone and talk. It helped. But still, how could he even try that? It infuriates me to no end. It just makes her death seem even more senseless! It was not for no reason! It cannot be! That would mean that those children have no mother for no reason, my family is missing a vital link for no reason, and I know his cannot be true. I keep waiting for something good to come of this, and it just never does. It's not fair! I know that sounds childish, but it is 100% true.
I stayed up a few more hours after that, unable to feel tired. When I did lay down, sleep did not come easy. I feel so heavy and fragile today, like I could just breakdown again at any given moment. Has it really been eleven months already? Eleven months without my big sister, of wanting her back, of dreading not living with her for the rest of my life? I guess so. Reality bites back hard sometimes. So, here goes another day. Lets hope it ends on a slightly beter note than it started on.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Justice in this state, doesn't make sense to me. Yes, it is hard to believe she has been gone 11mths now.
Anytime, you can call me, IM glad to have a listening ear. I'll try my best, I know it might not help but, we can all help the babies know thier mother, but, it won't be the same.
Call anytime ! Love you, Auntie Terry

Bre said...

I was on another Brianne's website and linked to yours. Just read your post and wanted to extend some love and happy vibes your way. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.

-Brianne