Here We Go.....

Wow! I cannot believe I have slacked and not blogged in almost 9 months!!! So sorry guys!!! Time to play catch-up!!

• I graduated May 8th with my AA. (Finally!!!!!)
• Justin and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in Savannah, GA June 4th
• Justin was sworn into the US Army June 17th
• We found out we will be moving to Fort Hood, TX next year
• We found out July 5th we will have our first child in March of next year
• We were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time on Aug 20th
• We saw it for the first time on Aug 30th
• Justin left for Basic Training on Oct 1st and is currently at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
• We found out on Oct 4th we are having a boy!!!!

Just a few of the highlights of the past few months!!! I am doing okay on my own, and look forward to the times he is able to call us. I have been working, puttering around the house, and spending time with those I love.
 Fall is my favorite season, and I am relishing the chill in the air first thing in the morning, and the sights and smells that come along with this time of year.
I am also still getting used to the fact that I am carrying our son. It still amazes me to see how my body is changing, and feel those cravings when I smell anything that resembles food!!!
Well, we are getting tired, and have a little girl looking forward to a few days with her aunt. I will leave you for now, but hopefully not for so long this time!
And of course, it would not be me without a song!!!! So, here it is!
(This song was played at our wedding June 4th, 2005 and still resonates for us.....)

When God Made You by Newsong w/ Natalie Grant

It’s always been a mystery to me 

How two hearts can come together

And love can last forever

But now that I have found you, I believe

That a miracle has come

When God sends the perfect one

Now gone are all my questions about why

And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

When He created you

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

When God made you

He must have been thinking about me

I promise that wherever you may go

Wherever life may lead you

With all my heart I’ll be there too

From this moment on I want you to know

I’ll let nothing come between us

And I will love the ones you love

Now gone are all my questions about why

And I have never been so sure of anything in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

When God made you

He must have been thinking about me

Bridge:

He made the sun

He made the moon

To harmonize in perfect tune

One can’t move without the other

They just have to be together

And that is why I know it’s true

You’re for me and I’m for you

Cause my world just can’t be right

Without you in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

When He created you

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

Tag chorus:

He must have heard every prayer I’ve been praying (I 've been praying)

Yes He knew everything I would need

When God made you (I thank God he made you)

When dreams come true (you are my love my love)

When God made you He must have been thinking about me

Numbers...

Numbers are all around us. Time is composed of many numbers, going either too slowly or too fast. These numbers amount to moments, minutes, hours, days, and years. It seems like all of these are flying by. I have reflected on many numbers as of late.

-I have been working on my AA for 9 years now, and will finally receive it at the end of this semester. (As long as all goes according to my plan!)

-My favorite little man is now 9. I can still remember playing video games, with my feet pressed together in front of me, his head resting where the arches of my feet were spaced and my heels supporting his neck where they met. While I played, he watched the ceiling fan above.

-My favorite little duo are turning 6. I can still remember singing to little man in the NICU at my sister's request, and watching her hold him and mouth the words. I can also remember holding little miss while she was sleeping, and having my dad stop in the doorway and say that I had my grandfather's nose.

-I have been married for almost 5 years, together for almost 7. I can still remember the thrill of our very first kiss, the thrill of our first engaged kiss, the thrill of our first married kiss, and the thrills of many other special kisses between and since. I look forward to many more.

-I have been friends with my Best Friend for almost 14 years. We have seen each other through thick and thin (literally!), good times and bad. I am still amazed at the things we have shared, and await the things to come.



With so many reflections, I try to concentrate on the positive ones. I cannot number them, as the stream is continous, with a strong current pushing them through my mind too quick to count. I choose not to reflect on the negative in this post, as they would only cause me tears. I reflect on the good and bad each day, and try to stay focused on the good to make it through the day. The bad still follow me around, whispering in my ear in my quiet moments. Like a fly or mosquito, I shoo them , only to hear the buzzing again a few moments later. Life is made up of many moments. Moments too numerous to count. We choose the moments that make us count.
But, life is not measured my numbers or counting, now is it? One of my favourite quotes expresses it all to well:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I try to live in those moments, recapturing my breath as I go.

Hello 25.....

Hard to believe I have hit the quarter century mark. Those 25 years are filled with many memories. Some bad, many good, and a share of bittersweet. I have had many people come in and go out of my life. All have left their mark. I am a better person because of all of them. Thank you.
So here's to 25 years of family, friends, pets, military, moving, sharing, giving, taking, loving, laughing, living, being..........

Here's to the Beatles.....Here's to an awesome song......Here's to you.......All of you......


There are places I'll remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more

It has been a busy month!!! Justin and I have been working like crazy, both on the job and at home. We celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary on the 4th. It was so nice to be able to take a few days and just focus on us for a bit. Justin was going through a few boxes the other day, and came across a note I wrote him before we got married. I had just watched Quest for Camelot with the kids, and wrote this song down for him.

"Looking Through Your Eyes"

Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes


I see the heavens
Each time that you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worth while
That's what I see
Through your eyes


[Chorus:]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise

Looking through your eyes


I look at myself
And instead I see us
Whoever I am now
It feels like enough
And I see a girl
Who is learning to trust
That's who I see through your eyes


[Chorus]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes


And there are some things we don't know
Sometimes a heart just needs to go
And there is so much I'll remember
Underneath the open sky with you forever


[Chorus]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes

We also have a new set of paws running around our house. Chloe is a 6-month old black lab. She is still a little hyper, and a lot destructive, but getting along great with Buddy and Keeley. We are working hard, loving much, and laughing often. Ain't life grand???

New Places, New Faces.......

The doctors have given me a clean bill of health since the accident in February. I am back to my old self, goofing off as usual! They simply said I know my body, and if I start feeling bad to back off and calm down. I have even gotten back on a horse again! Not the same one, as a friend of mine was riding him, but another horse named Barney. He has actively tried to throw me before, right after he backed his stupid self into an electric fence! At least I know falling off Lenny was a true accident, no harm intended.

Justin and I are in Maine visiting family this weekend. They have a Christening tomorrow and a college grad on Sunday. They were gracious enough to show us a few of the sights today. We went through York and Kittery today, with a stop at the Nubble Lighthouse. The above shot is us on the rocks next to the lighthouse. It is nice to get away for a little bit, be able to relax away from the city. We flew into Manchester very very late Thursday night/ very early Friday morning. I had not been on a plane since I came back over the pond from England about 15 years ago! It was fun, but I was a little anxious, too. once we got into the air, I was fine. We will be back home Tuesday, with both of us returning to work that afternoon.

So, until we meet again, Adios, Arevoir, Auf Wiedersehen. Good Night!!

Cooped up & Recuperating

Sorry so long since I have written, life has been a whirlwind swirling around me!!! To ease a few minds, and reassure others, we will start with my most recent bout of adventure.

As many of those close to me already know, Feb. 16 marked quite a day for me. I can no longer say I have never broken a bone.....I went horseback riding with my mom and a family friend that day. Mom headed back early, as Barney had his hooves trimmed, and was tender footed. Jess on Dude, and me on Lenny stayed out a little longer. We did not run much, and decided to try a little canter on the home stretch. Mistake #1. Lenny took his head, and refused to listen to me. Jess stopped Dude, but Lenny still would not listen. He knew the barn was coming up around the bend. Mistake #2. Despite my yelling, and persistent pulling on the reins, he continued on. By this point, I had lost my footing, and my feet were no longer in the stirrups. I was holding on by just the reins and saddle horn. When Lenny took the final turn to the barn, my ride was over. I have heard his take on the turn compared to a rider sliding into home. The last thing I remember, was flying into the air.

Mom says when she got to me, I had stood up and was leaning against the fence. Blood was coming from my head, I was nauseous, and my head hurt. I have flickers of rescue, an ambulance, then a hospital. I have numerous abrasions and bruises, aches and pains. The blood was from a cut in my scalp, closed later with 3 staples.

X-ray and CT scans showed a fracture in the occipital bone. I have officially broken my first bone!!! I spent 24 hrs in the Neuro ICU, then 24 hrs in the regular hospital before being discharged Feb. 18 to my mom's house.

I am doing much better. The first few days were baby steps, but the past few have been by leaps and bounds. I have stayed with mom, to ensure 24 hour assistance. Justin visits when he gets off work, and I will be back home Wednesday. I still get headaches, and too much light or sound still stings. I am getting around on my own, and eating better too. I will be back at work Thursday, and have an appointment to check the staples and how I am doing that same day. I have been getting out a little the past couple of days, and it has helped me as well. I am beginning to feel human again!!! My joke has been that this is the first time in 12 years I have ever been thrown/fallen off a horse. Of course, I never do anything on a small scale! Go Big or Go Home!!!

Many thanks and much heartfelt love to everyone out there who helped me and my family through this time. Sorry to anyone I worried!!! I assure you I should be back to me in a short time!!!

Other than that, it has been mostly work, family, and spring cleaning!!! The holidays have come and gone, as well as a few birthdays. Hello, and see you later!! I'll try not to wait too long to write again!!!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes......

I know it has been over 3 months since my last post. Sorry! But, as in the name of this post, there have been alot of changes!!! Those who have known me a long time, know how much I love my long hair. You should also know I have always talked about Locks of Love. Well......my third anniversary present to myself was to cut 11 1/2 inches off my hair!!! I felt really good about it. Had a little weepy moment, but it was more over something someone said to me... My best friend was with me, and she cut 8 inches off hers. As we sat, waiting for the stylist to get to our trims to shape the hair, she kind of looked at me funny. She started to say something, but stopped. I argued it out of her, only by promising not to cry. She said with my hair the way it was, I looked even more like Kie. Of course, I broke my promise, but only a little. It just made the haircut even more right.....
Less than a week later, I made another change, one that surprised even me. I am not usually a spontaneous person. I stew over things for a while before acting. Well, on June 9th, of all days, I got another tattoo. This one was strictly for me. It is on my opposite shoulder, and expresses me more. It stands for the peace I constantly strive for. It also is opposite my sissy & me tattoo. In this way it balances out my grief.
Also, as a side note....For my birthday, I spent the day with my mom. Oh yeah, and I tried out for American Idol!!! It was so much fun!! No, I did not meet RJ, P, or S. However, I did see Ryan Seacrest!! No, I did not make it, but I did have a blast trying out!!!! It was definitely worth it!! At least I tried!!!
There are so many other changes going on around me, I cannot even begin to explain. But, here is a little song I like about changes. Fittingly enough, the singer is named Butterfly!!!

"Changes"

by Butterfly Boucher

Oh yeah

Mm

Still don’t know what I was lookin for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

Every time I thought I’d got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet S

o I turned myself to face me

But I’ve never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Don’t want to be a richer one

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Just gonna have to be a different one

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

So the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

They're immune to your consultations

They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Where’s your shame

You’ve left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Oh, look out you rock ’n rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can’t trace time