Brianne's Crazy Life

Here We Go.....

2010-10-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

Wow! I cannot believe I have slacked and not blogged in almost 9 months!!! So sorry guys!!! Time to play catch-up!!

I graduated May 8th with my AA. (Finally!!!!!)
Justin and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in Savannah, GA June 4th
Justin was sworn into the US Army June 17th
We found out we will be moving to Fort Hood, TX next year
We found out July 5th we will have our first child in March of next year
We were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time on Aug 20th
We saw it for the first time on Aug 30th
Justin left for Basic Training on Oct 1st and is currently at Fort Sill in Oklahoma
We found out on Oct 4th we are having a boy!!!!

Just a few of the highlights of the past few months!!! I am doing okay on my own, and look forward to the times he is able to call us. I have been working, puttering around the house, and spending time with those I love.
Fall is my favorite season, and I am relishing the chill in the air first thing in the morning, and the sights and smells that come along with this time of year.
I am also still getting used to the fact that I am carrying our son. It still amazes me to see how my body is changing, and feel those cravings when I smell anything that resembles food!!!
Well, we are getting tired, and have a little girl looking forward to a few days with her aunt. I will leave you for now, but hopefully not for so long this time!
And of course, it would not be me without a song!!!! So, here it is!
(This song was played at our wedding June 4th, 2005 and still resonates for us.....)

When God Made You by Newsong w/ Natalie Grant

It’s always been a mystery to me

How two hearts can come together

And love can last forever

But now that I have found you, I believe

That a miracle has come

When God sends the perfect one

Now gone are all my questions about why

And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

When He created you

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

When God made you

He must have been thinking about me

I promise that wherever you may go

Wherever life may lead you

With all my heart I’ll be there too

From this moment on I want you to know

I’ll let nothing come between us

And I will love the ones you love

Now gone are all my questions about why

And I have never been so sure of anything in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

When God made you

He must have been thinking about me

Bridge:

He made the sun

He made the moon

To harmonize in perfect tune

One can’t move without the other

They just have to be together

And that is why I know it’s true

You’re for me and I’m for you

Cause my world just can’t be right

Without you in my life

Chorus:

I wonder what God was thinking

When He created you

I wonder if He knew everything I would need

Because He made all my dreams come true

Tag chorus:

He must have heard every prayer I’ve been praying (I 've been praying)

Yes He knew everything I would need

When God made you (I thank God he made you)

When dreams come true (you are my love my love)

When God made you He must have been thinking about me

Numbers...

2010-01-25T19:48:00.003-05:00

Numbers are all around us. Time is composed of many numbers, going either too slowly or too fast. These numbers amount to moments, minutes, hours, days, and years. It seems like all of these are flying by. I have reflected on many numbers as of late.

-I have been working on my AA for 9 years now, and will finally receive it at the end of this semester. (As long as all goes according to my plan!)

-My favorite little man is now 9. I can still remember playing video games, with my feet pressed together in front of me, his head resting where the arches of my feet were spaced and my heels supporting his neck where they met. While I played, he watched the ceiling fan above.

-My favorite little duo are turning 6. I can still remember singing to little man in the NICU at my sister's request, and watching her hold him and mouth the words. I can also remember holding little miss while she was sleeping, and having my dad stop in the doorway and say that I had my grandfather's nose.

-I have been married for almost 5 years, together for almost 7. I can still remember the thrill of our very first kiss, the thrill of our first engaged kiss, the thrill of our first married kiss, and the thrills of many other special kisses between and since. I look forward to many more.

-I have been friends with my Best Friend for almost 14 years. We have seen each other through thick and thin (literally!), good times and bad. I am still amazed at the things we have shared, and await the things to come.

With so many reflections, I try to concentrate on the positive ones. I cannot number them, as the stream is continous, with a strong current pushing them through my mind too quick to count. I choose not to reflect on the negative in this post, as they would only cause me tears. I reflect on the good and bad each day, and try to stay focused on the good to make it through the day. The bad still follow me around, whispering in my ear in my quiet moments. Like a fly or mosquito, I shoo them , only to hear the buzzing again a few moments later. Life is made up of many moments. Moments too numerous to count. We choose the moments that make us count.
But, life is not measured my numbers or counting, now is it? One of my favourite quotes expresses it all to well:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I try to live in those moments, recapturing my breath as I go.

Hello 25.....

2009-08-17T20:39:00.004-05:00

Hard to believe I have hit the quarter century mark. Those 25 years are filled with many memories. Some bad, many good, and a share of bittersweet. I have had many people come in and go out of my life. All have left their mark. I am a better person because of all of them. Thank you.
So here's to 25 years of family, friends, pets, military, moving, sharing, giving, taking, loving, laughing, living, being..........

Here's to the Beatles.....Here's to an awesome song......Here's to you.......All of you......

There are places I'll remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more

2009-06-24T09:49:00.003-05:00

It has been a busy month!!! Justin and I have been working like crazy, both on the job and at home. We celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary on the 4th. It was so nice to be able to take a few days and just focus on us for a bit. Justin was going through a few boxes the other day, and came across a note I wrote him before we got married. I had just watched Quest for Camelot with the kids, and wrote this song down for him.

"Looking Through Your Eyes"

Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes

I see the heavens
Each time that you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worth while
That's what I see
Through your eyes

[Chorus:]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise

Looking through your eyes

I look at myself
And instead I see us
Whoever I am now
It feels like enough
And I see a girl
Who is learning to trust
That's who I see through your eyes

[Chorus]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes

And there are some things we don't know
Sometimes a heart just needs to go
And there is so much I'll remember
Underneath the open sky with you forever

[Chorus]
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes

We also have a new set of paws running around our house. Chloe is a 6-month old black lab. She is still a little hyper, and a lot destructive, but getting along great with Buddy and Keeley. We are working hard, loving much, and laughing often. Ain't life grand???

New Places, New Faces.......

2009-05-15T20:22:00.003-05:00

The doctors have given me a clean bill of health since the accident in February. I am back to my old self, goofing off as usual! They simply said I know my body, and if I start feeling bad to back off and calm down. I have even gotten back on a horse again! Not the same one, as a friend of mine was riding him, but another horse named Barney. He has actively tried to throw me before, right after he backed his stupid self into an electric fence! At least I know falling off Lenny was a true accident, no harm intended.

Justin and I are in Maine visiting family this weekend. They have a Christening tomorrow and a college grad on Sunday. They were gracious enough to show us a few of the sights today. We went through York and Kittery today, with a stop at the Nubble Lighthouse. The above shot is us on the rocks next to the lighthouse. It is nice to get away for a little bit, be able to relax away from the city. We flew into Manchester very very late Thursday night/ very early Friday morning. I had not been on a plane since I came back over the pond from England about 15 years ago! It was fun, but I was a little anxious, too. once we got into the air, I was fine. We will be back home Tuesday, with both of us returning to work that afternoon.

So, until we meet again, Adios, Arevoir, Auf Wiedersehen. Good Night!!

Cooped up & Recuperating

2009-02-24T09:11:00.004-05:00

Sorry so long since I have written, life has been a whirlwind swirling around me!!! To ease a few minds, and reassure others, we will start with my most recent bout of adventure.

As many of those close to me already know, Feb. 16 marked quite a day for me. I can no longer say I have never broken a bone.....I went horseback riding with my mom and a family friend that day. Mom headed back early, as Barney had his hooves trimmed, and was tender footed. Jess on Dude, and me on Lenny stayed out a little longer. We did not run much, and decided to try a little canter on the home stretch. Mistake #1. Lenny took his head, and refused to listen to me. Jess stopped Dude, but Lenny still would not listen. He knew the barn was coming up around the bend. Mistake #2. Despite my yelling, and persistent pulling on the reins, he continued on. By this point, I had lost my footing, and my feet were no longer in the stirrups. I was holding on by just the reins and saddle horn. When Lenny took the final turn to the barn, my ride was over. I have heard his take on the turn compared to a rider sliding into home. The last thing I remember, was flying into the air.

Mom says when she got to me, I had stood up and was leaning against the fence. Blood was coming from my head, I was nauseous, and my head hurt. I have flickers of rescue, an ambulance, then a hospital. I have numerous abrasions and bruises, aches and pains. The blood was from a cut in my scalp, closed later with 3 staples.

X-ray and CT scans showed a fracture in the occipital bone. I have officially broken my first bone!!! I spent 24 hrs in the Neuro ICU, then 24 hrs in the regular hospital before being discharged Feb. 18 to my mom's house.

I am doing much better. The first few days were baby steps, but the past few have been by leaps and bounds. I have stayed with mom, to ensure 24 hour assistance. Justin visits when he gets off work, and I will be back home Wednesday. I still get headaches, and too much light or sound still stings. I am getting around on my own, and eating better too. I will be back at work Thursday, and have an appointment to check the staples and how I am doing that same day. I have been getting out a little the past couple of days, and it has helped me as well. I am beginning to feel human again!!! My joke has been that this is the first time in 12 years I have ever been thrown/fallen off a horse. Of course, I never do anything on a small scale! Go Big or Go Home!!!

Many thanks and much heartfelt love to everyone out there who helped me and my family through this time. Sorry to anyone I worried!!! I assure you I should be back to me in a short time!!!

Other than that, it has been mostly work, family, and spring cleaning!!! The holidays have come and gone, as well as a few birthdays. Hello, and see you later!! I'll try not to wait too long to write again!!!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes......

2008-09-10T11:21:00.003-05:00

I know it has been over 3 months since my last post. Sorry! But, as in the name of this post, there have been alot of changes!!! Those who have known me a long time, know how much I love my long hair. You should also know I have always talked about Locks of Love. Well......my third anniversary present to myself was to cut 11 1/2 inches off my hair!!! I felt really good about it. Had a little weepy moment, but it was more over something someone said to me... My best friend was with me, and she cut 8 inches off hers. As we sat, waiting for the stylist to get to our trims to shape the hair, she kind of looked at me funny. She started to say something, but stopped. I argued it out of her, only by promising not to cry. She said with my hair the way it was, I looked even more like Kie. Of course, I broke my promise, but only a little. It just made the haircut even more right.....
Less than a week later, I made another change, one that surprised even me. I am not usually a spontaneous person. I stew over things for a while before acting. Well, on June 9th, of all days, I got another tattoo. This one was strictly for me. It is on my opposite shoulder, and expresses me more. It stands for the peace I constantly strive for. It also is opposite my sissy & me tattoo. In this way it balances out my grief.
Also, as a side note....For my birthday, I spent the day with my mom. Oh yeah, and I tried out for American Idol!!! It was so much fun!! No, I did not meet RJ, P, or S. However, I did see Ryan Seacrest!! No, I did not make it, but I did have a blast trying out!!!! It was definitely worth it!! At least I tried!!!
There are so many other changes going on around me, I cannot even begin to explain. But, here is a little song I like about changes. Fittingly enough, the singer is named Butterfly!!!

"Changes"

by Butterfly Boucher

Oh yeah

Still don’t know what I was lookin for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

Every time I thought I’d got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet S

o I turned myself to face me

But I’ve never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Don’t want to be a richer one

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Just gonna have to be a different one

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

So the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

They're immune to your consultations

They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Where’s your shame

You’ve left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Oh, look out you rock ’n rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can’t trace time

Three Years.....

2008-06-05T19:06:00.003-05:00

Wow! I just had my third wedding anniversary. It amazes me how much can happen in 3 years....births, deaths, friendships binding, friendships ending, birthdays, marriages, divorces......and so many other things, I just can't even imagine! Seasons change, days go by, turning into weeks and months. It all flies by so fast, before we can even grasp it. All I can say is this: be grateful for the time you have, no matter how fast it flies. Anything can happen in a moment. Those moments can last a lifetime though. Thank you to everyone who has ever passed into my life, no matter how brief the moment. Everyone makes their mark.....just ask yourself, was it a good or bad moment? Next time you meet someone, smile. It can mean the world, and a moment can make a difference. Know what the longest word in the world is??????
SMILES!!!! Because there is a MILE between each S!!!!! Enjoy your day, and try to catch a few moments.....and a few smiles!!!! They are contagious you know!!!!

Taking time to Reflect......

2008-04-05T20:56:00.003-05:00

Reflections....there are different types. There is what we see, in the mirror, ourselves, or even others. There is also reflections, or reflecting, on the past. The former can be a quick glance, even just a glimpse, of something, whether we want to see it or not. The latter requires more time, more thought even, than its companion. I find myself doing both lately. I find myself taking stock of what I try to reflect to others, and trying to examine others reflections more closely. I am also reflecting on the events of the past few years, and taking more stock in myself, instead of worrying so much about everything around me. I tend to give 150% of myself to everything and everyone I am involved with. This can be good sometimes, but not when it drains you......I am trying to figure out my own reflection, and decide how happy I am with myself, and the person I want to be. I want people to like what they see, but not at my own expense. Then again, are we ever truly happy with what we see??????? Be it in ourselves, others, and the world around us. It all changes, some slower, some faster than others. We can try to change with it, or we can choose to remain true to ourselves.........

Reflection by Christina Aguilera

for the Disney movie Mulan

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you'll never know me

Every day, is as if I play a part

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I can not fool

My heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I have to

Hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow

I will show the world

What's inside my heart

And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm

Someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must
Be free to fly

That burns with a need

To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think

How we feel

Must there be a secret me

I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm

Someone else

For all time

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

The Loss of a Real Good Friend......

2008-02-05T17:29:00.000-05:00

"Kahlua" Chaser

Beloved Chow, Chip Eater, & Rodent Catcher

08/10/1995-02/05/2008

I lost one of my best friends today. He was 87 1/2 years old. (in dog years)

The vet says he had either a stroke or a heart attack. Neither very surprising despite his age. He lived a good life. He had many friends, both canine and human. He loved tennis balls in his younger days, a good nap in his latter. He was good at keeping mice, snakes, and lizards away. He did a little puppy dance when he knew he was getting fed, down to his last meal. He was there through everything in Jacksonville, the good and bad. He is greatly missed.

Time keeps on slipping.......

2008-01-05T08:30:00.000-05:00

It has been really flying lately! Is it a new year already? Oh my goodness! It seems there is never enough time to do all the things we need or want to. There is never enough time to spend with everyone we love. So I try, I make dates with friend when I can, even with my husband if I have a chance! I try to take an opportunity when it arises. For example: I had a date with one of my best friends, Brenda, back in October, we did dinner, a movie, and coffee. When I saw her again on Hunter's birthday, we made dinner, then played Uno til all hours!! But it was a blast! So, last night when Justin had to work, my best friend Manda and I went to dinner and a movie. The funny coincidence? Tim Burton! I saw the Nightmare before Christmas in 3-D with Brenda, then Sweeney Todd with Manda! I think that is pretty cool!
The holidays have come and gone, with memories of their own as well. Can I just say, that I am very proud of Chad! He was off his computer, AND out of his room, for a solid 5 hours on Christmas day! He did the whole Christmas morning thing, hung out, and even played with his toys! It was really cool. He can be fun to hang out with, when he wants! New Years was cool too. The 30th we all went to Auntie Greta's. Afterwards, we took the kids to see The Waterhorse Legend of the Deep. We as in there were about 10 of us! 5 kids, and 5 adults! Later, Chad, Terri Moore and I went to National Treasure Book of Secrets. The next day, New Year's Eve (Terri Moore's b-day!!!), we went to Alvin and the Chipmunks. It's been a pretty good movie week! Justin and I went to dinner, but I fell asleep when we got home. I had him wake me up at midnight! I said "Happy New Year!" in time! (then went right back to sleep)
Needless to say, It is a New Year that I am trying to prepare for. i know it will be another roller coaster of a year.....ups and downs, good and bad, happy and sad. We can make it through it all! We will survive!!!!

Earworms

2007-12-15T12:11:00.000-05:00

I meant to post this about 2 weeks ago, but got really busy...Sorry

I am one of those people who can't go a single day without some song jumping in my head. Someone recently told me this is called an earworm. I have no idea why!!! This is just what it is!!! Most times, that song makes me think of a movie. Today, it was a well loved song, at least for me. Indulge me for a moment....
You see, in my mom's house, we do not even mention Christmas movies until Thanksgiving is over. It became a tradition to watch the first Christmas movie of the year right after Thanksgiving dinner. For as long as I can remember, that movie has always been Scrooged with Bill Murray. Most of us can quote many, many, MANY parts of this movie! This is a tradition we have set aside for the past few years, for personal reasons. With everyone over for Thanksgiving, my uncle wanted to watch it this year. It was bittersweet, remembering Thanksgivings past.....But we all came through like champs. Anyways, the main song from the movie is "Put a Little Love in Your Heart". This is sung at the very end, and Bill Murray carries it over into the credits. If you have not seen this movie ever, or just in a long time, I suggest you watch it this holiday season!!

Put A Little Love In Your HeartAnnie Lennox & Al Green

Think of your fellow man
Lend him a helping hand
Put a little love in your heart
You see it's getting late
Oh please don't hesitate
Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see

Another day goes by
And still the children cry
Put a little love in you heart
If you want the world to know
We won't let hatred grow
Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Wait and see

Take a good look around
And if you're lookin'
a little love in your heart
I hope when you decide
Kindness will be your guide
Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Put a little love in your heart
Put a little love in your
Love in your heart

Trying to fly again..

2007-11-17T17:51:00.000-05:00

Has it really been 2 years since we lost you, Kie? It seems like just yesterday sometimes...I was determined this year. I went to work, made it through the first half of the day, figured it was all down hill from there...Boy was I wrong! I tried to be strong for you Kie, I try everyday. Some days it is still too hard. I still long for the one-on-ones with you, just chatting and laughing...We went through so much...From barely liking each other, to going to each other for everything, to arguing constantly. What a carousel we rode! I still wonder sometimes, why was it your turn to get off? I may never know, but will always want you there, for all the events life has yet to bring, both big and small. Not just for my own selfishness, but also for Alexa and Tristan, and all the rest of us you left behind.I thought of this song today, and remembered Britney was always a favorite of yours. Some of it fits, some doesn't. But here's to missing you, babe.....

Everytime by Britney Spears

Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so smallI guess
I need you baby

And everytime
I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only wayI see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby

And everytime
I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
Ohhhh
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away

And everytime
I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby

And everytime
I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

Catching Up..

2007-11-17T17:47:00.000-05:00

has it really been 2 months since I last posted? Good night!!!! Well, how about we play a little game of catch up, shall we?

September
-worked
-had a party at moms house for g-ma and g-pa Blomgren
-got to hang out w/ the kids 2 weekends in a row
-went to St Pete w/ the fam for g-ma Shore's birthday

October
-worked some more
-went to a movie w/ Chad
-went to a Fall Festival at church
-went to a movie and Starbucks w/ Brenda
-dressed as a Geek for Halloween(big stretch!)
-went trick-or-treating with the kids, mom, and dad

November (so far...)
-went to the ranch and a cabin in GA w/ mom and Terri(thanks ladies!!!)
-went to a teaching conference for work
-went to Auntie Greta's for her birthday
-made it thru the 2 year mark

So, there you have it ladies and gentleman, 2 1-2 months in 2 min or less!!!

There's A Light........

2007-09-14T17:38:00.000-05:00

In the velvet darkness of the blackest night
Burning bright, there's a guiding star
No matter what or who you are.

There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

I can see the flag fly, I can see the rain
Just the same, there has got to be
Something better here for you and me.

There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Into my life, into my life.

There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

I know this looks weird. Allow me to explain....

I am very much a movie buff. So, when I got a little ray of sunshine over my cloudy day, this was honestly the first song to pop in my head, straight from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Needless to say, it has not left since. I thought it kind of funny! Of all the songs running around my lyrical mind, this was the first to jump out. Not a hymn, or another church song I know, but this. I could even picture Janet and Brad standing out in the rain, singing as they walk up to the old Frankenstein place.
So, needless to say, things are starting to look up. It is a slow process, but progress none the less. Thank you to everyone who commented, leaving me words of encouragement. They literally brought tears to my eyes!!! I love you all, and you mean more to me than words could ever express!!!!

Broken.....

2007-09-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

"Broken" by Lindsey Haun, Toby Keith
from the movie Broken Bridges

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Heaven knows that getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

This is kind of how I have felt this week. It seems like every time I feel like we are finally moving in the right direction , a wall springs up, knocking us flat on our backs. Whether it is work, money, or emotions, it just all crashes with us. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle, and my attitude shows it. I have tried the whole upbeat thing, but the mask shatters once I walk through my front door. In the past few years, I have started pushing people away. People I have known since I got to Florida. Events happened, people changed, and slowly the relationship faded into the background. I find myself trying to regain my ground, rebuild my path, wherever it may lead, and rebuilding these relationships. Will it ever be the same, in life or in love? Who knows? Only time will tell....
So, I wake up each day, put on my battle armor, and do what I can to make it through each day. Hopefully, the days turn into weeks, maybe eventually into months. A day is all I can ask for right now. A day where I can walk with my head high, my shoulders back, my pride intact. I find myself singing to myself throughout the day. Songs of inspiration, of hope, of peace...all of which I am striving for. Praying, for strength, wisdom, peace that passes all understanding.....I am so thankful for family, friends, people who somehow know what to say to me, whether I want to hear it or not. It makes me think, be grateful for what I do have, for who I am, and that I am still here, desperately fighting to hold onto it all......

This is me, pouring out my heart and soul, riding along on the rollercoaster that is Brianne's Crazy Life........

Birthdays, Buble, Best Friends, and...... CALL BOX!!!

2007-08-16T14:10:00.000-05:00

Out of the tree of life,

I just picked me a plum

You came along

and everything started to hum

Still its a real good bet,

the best is yet to come

The best is yet to come,

and baby won't it be fine

You think you've seen the sun,

but you aint seen it shine........

The weekend was, in a word, AWESOME!!!!! Mom surprised me with a cake for my birthday at lunch on the ranch. It was really sweet!! Totally surprised me!!!! We got to do an evening ride that night too. It was so coll to see the fireflies out! We even heard a coyote howl y'all!! It was way cool! Tuesday, we went into town after the morning ride. Manda got her horse into a canter for the first time. All you heard was a hearty "Wooo-hooo!" when her horse, Crunch went into full speed ahead!!! The shops were pretty cool, and we got to hang out with our new Canadian friend Jody. We all had a blast. Then, it was back to the hotel to get all sexy-fied for Michael Buble. We all put on our little black dresses for the concert. I think I can safely say we all looked pretty hot!!

Michael Buble puts on an awesome concert guys, and girls! He had everybody laughing, and even chatted to the guys for a little bit. He is so cool! I even got my first ever t-shirt from a concert!(refrain from laughing, please!!!) I have only ever been to a handful of concerts, and never got a shirt. Thanks Manda!!!

Wednesday was our last ride, and I got to ride Stella. She did awesome!!! She even got into a canter for me!! Go Stella! Manda had a blast, and we broke her into the ranch. She is hooked!!! She is already to plan when she can go again!

On the way home, we started playing the call box game. Pretty much, once you hit the Florida line, you watch out for the call boxes on your side of the road, and see who calls it first. WE got so into it, mom missed her exit for I-10 back to Jax! What makes it even funnier, was she had called the call box right before the exit!!! Love you mom!!!

All in all, it was an awesome 4 days away. Thanks girls! We had some fun, made some new friends, and had loads of laughs. Definitely in the running for best birthday ever!!!!

Anticipation......

2007-08-10T06:29:00.000-05:00

Anticipation, Anticipation
is making me late
is keeping me waiting......

The wait is killing me!!!! Oh wait, you probably want to know what I am waiting on, huh??? Well, for my birthday, my amazing mommy, (with help from daddy too!!!), is taking me to a little concert in Atlanta, Ga. Just a little known singer, does some older stuff. Oh, his name??? Well, since you asked.....

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am going to see his handsomeness, Michael Buble!!! Can you just feel his hotness emanating from the screen???No? Okay, just me then,(sighs, waits for hot flash to pass....) Continuing on!!!

Talk about an awesome birthday present!!!!! I am so excited, I can hardly stand it!!!! We will be going to the ranch as well. Buble AND horseback riding!!! OMG!!!!! Can I faint now????? We leave Sunday, and the concert is on Tuesday night.

I'm so excited!
and I just can't hide it!
I'm about to lose control!
and I think I like it!
I'm so excited!
and I just can't hide it!
And I know I know I know I know I know I want you!

OMG!!! Only 2 more days until we leave, and only 4 more days til we see him LIVE in PERSON!!!!!!!! Kudos to mom for the good seats!!! I will try to send greetings from blogland while we are on the trip, if I do not end up with a concussion from fainting!!!!!

For now, Adios Amigos!!!!

(Try not to be too jealous, green does not suit you too well!!! Seeing green is even worse, especially at traffic lights!!!)

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.

2007-07-24T15:22:00.000-05:00

--quote by Emily Dickinson

My, how life comes along and changes everything. Work has been hectic, to say the least. I have been so busy, so stressed, I feel like I lose touch with everyone around me, including myself sometimes. That said, it was nice to escape for myself for a little while. We had a family reunion for Justin's mom's side of the family a week and a half ago. It was cool to see everyone again, and I did end up making the most of the afternoon. However.....I have noticed more and more lately, that I have been catching the blahs. I feel like I am not myself, and could not even tell you why I feel this way. I get sort of lead footed, not in the driving sense either. Just kind of lethargic. I feel like breaking down in tears, and do not want to be around people, not even Justin. I laid down for a little bit, trying to feel better, but still felt weird. After I got up, there was food, of course. Then the guys decided to swing off a rope into the pond, red from the Georgia clay it was formed from. I was talked into joining. The first few tries were a flop, but I finally got air on the third try. The highlight of the day??? The guys taking the front loader and raising the bucket to jump off of, with the aid of the rope. Definitely in Georgia folks!!!
Once the reunion broke off, we headed to the horse ranch to spend some time with mom and dad. That definitely cured my blahs!!! Dad and I usually wound up trailing behind, telling jokes, singing silly songs, and of course quoting our favorite movies!!! I don't think mom and Justin could handle the coolness emanating from us, because they kept riding ahead!!! Justin did say it was the best vacation we have been on so far!!! There was one rough spot, but even that wasn't too bad. Mom let me ride Barney so she could ride a new Percheron, Lola. Yeah, I guess Barney didn't get the memo.... We had to wait because dad needed a new girth for his saddle/horse, so he started to get antsy. Then he started prancing, which means he is getting ticked. He started trying to swipe me into the electric fence the little brat!!! He ended up backing his own butt onto it instead. That was fun!!! He realized it a full two seconds AFTER contact. Then the bucking began!! I lost a rein at one point, but was able to recover pretty quick. Mom ended up getting off Lola and switching for Barney. He finally listened to her...AFTER almost dumping himself in the pond!! Did I mention he hates water??? Dad and I decided to give him a theme song...The Electric Slide!!! You gotta feel it, It's electric! Boogie Woogie Woogie!!
All in all, it was a pretty cool trip. Can hardly wait to do it again!!!!!

Rescue Me!!

2007-06-28T08:05:00.000-05:00

Rescue Me by Diana Ross

Rescue Me
or take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too

Come on and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me

Come on and take my heart
Take your love and conquer every part
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too

Come on and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me

Rescue me
Or take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too
Come on and rescue me
Come on baby, Take me baby
Hold me baby, Love me baby
Cant you see that i need you baby
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue Me

Come on and take my hand,
Come on baby and be my (wo)man.
Cause i love you, cause i want you.
Cant you see that I'm lonely.
Mmhmm, mmhmm.
Take me baby, love me baby
Need me baby, mmhmm
Cant you see that I'm lonely,
Rescue me, Rescue me.
Mmhmm.

This is Keeley's theme song. Who is Keeley you say?? Well, if you have been directed here by mom's blog, you already know, if not I will gladly tell you!!!

Keeley is a 2-3 yr old Golden Lab that mom helped me save from a small Humane Society in Jones County Georgia!!! She is very sweet, house trained, spayed, up to date on shots, been around people, and been around other dogs. This was her second time there, and she had already been there 10 days. It was not looking good...I had been thinking about another dog, seeing as how Chaser is getting up in years. She has a limp, due to a GSW to her back left leg that still bothers her. She has fit in nicely with our little family. Chaser likes her, too! Justin was not too happy about another dog at first. He ignored her the first couple of minutes. Now? He loves her! He always wanted a lab, and he is trying to claim her for his own. I do not think so buddy!!! She is an awesome dog, and we are happy to have as a new addition to our family!!!
****computer down, will add pics when I can!! go to mom's link for pics!!

Welcome Home Keeley!!!!

The Feeling of Freedom....

2007-06-28T06:34:00.000-05:00

No, this is not a patriotic post, so turn away now if you are disappointed. This is physical, emotional spiritual freedom. You know how sometimes it feels like you cannot turn your mind off?? You constantly plan, worry, cover bills in your mind, review the next few weeks in your head. You get headaches, its hot, you feel grody, you ache. Even riding on the back of a horse, on a back trail, in the middle of Georgia, I COULD NOT STOP THINKING!!! It was driving me crazy! Then mom said to get up front and go ahead and run a little. The feeling of true freedom?? Sitting back in the saddle, giving Haley, the horse, a little nudge, and just flying. Falling into such a smooth lope, the only way to see how fast you are running is if you look to the side, and see the blur of trees. The only thoughts are peaceful. The breeze blowing past you, the pounding of hooves on the dirt trail, the cloud of dusty Georgia clay billowing up behind you, the feel of the horse gliding you along. This is the feeling of freedom. Freedom from thought, from feeling, from pain, from life. Just being...

Bum me...

2007-06-06T12:27:00.000-05:00

Or bum knee actually! Either way, I am a bum. I went to Justin's work party Saturday, and actually had a lot of fun, dancing, meeting people, just having a general good time! Sunday was another story. I woke up about 0530 am, crying my knee hurt so bad. Finally around 0830, Justin made me see a doctor (against my will I might add!!!) Turns out, I have a small piece of bone floating behind the joint in my knee. So, even though it feels better, I have to wear a knee immobilizer, and I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor next Tuesday. So, bum me and bum knee!
On a lighter note, Justin and I had our 2 year wedding anniversary Monday. It went good, despite the rain. I gave him a CD of songs about us, which he loved!!! I made it myself at home, and he knew every song on there. Each one is a song that makes him think about me. He said I was a big booger! This translates to I am really sweet, and he loves it!! He got me a set of pearls. It is a necklace, bracelet, and matching earrings. He had been wanting to get me some for a while now, and they are so pretty!!
So there you have it, my week in a nutshell. Actually, this is me in a nutshell: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in this crazy nutshell! This is an awfully big nutshell!
Sorry! Had an Austin Powers moment there!!!
I will let y'all go for now. So, TTFN!!!
P.S. The end quote from last blog was Scarlett O'Hara, from the feature film Gone with the Wind. Love it! The book was better though!! Kudos to mom for getting it!!!

Finding time for me....

2007-05-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

I finally took a few days to clean, yes folks, actually clean my house. It was actually fun!! I had no time restraints, no where to go, nothing to do, but clean at my own set pace. I had my radio on, the door open to let in some fresh air, and Chaser lazing around. Justin had to work, so that helped too. The phone barely rang too, leaving little interruption. I refound my living room, couch and all, along with the much missed dining room table. The office is very much less crowded as well. It felt so good!! My house is at least halfway presentable. Saturday Justin cleaned up the yard, while I cleaned the kitchen. We even got a new mailbox at the store, and some outdoor furniture courtesy of mom and dad. All in all, it was a good few days. I still myself to get out and take breaks so as not to get overwhelmed. i filled two outside trash cans of trash, and even added a few empty boxes to that!! I am very proud of myself. Now, I just have to find more time for the den and guest room and laundry room.....
I shall think about it tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day...

Ta ta Tinkerbell, aka Tink-tink

2007-04-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentleman, I come before you with a heavy heart. I have been in mourning this week. (note the use of black text, not the usual fun colors I bounce between) My beloved hamster, Tinkerbell, as named by Justin, has passed away. She came to us July 13, 2005, and left us April 22, 2007. I will miss the creaking as she ran in her wheel, the soft rumble on the floor as she ran in her ball, and the cute puffiness her cheeks got when she would stuff them with food. Alas poor Tinkerbell, I knew her well!! (sorry Hamlet!!!)
We went to Universal Orlando for a few days, to get away for Justin's 28th birthday. We procured a petsitter to take care of the dog and hamster while we were away. A trusty person, they had done this for us before. Well, Chaser was fine! Got fed every day, got out, got water. Poor Tink! She was forgotten!! She is in the same room as the snake, so the person totally forgot about her for 4 days!!!! It was an accident, honestly and truly!!! I am still unsure if I want another hamster right now though.
Tinkerbell was a pudgy little honeybear hamster, with a cute face. She enjoyed eating, snacking, hoarding food, running in her wheel, nuzzling your neck, and running free (sort of) in the house in her red ball. Justin named her Tinkerbell. She was a fat hamster, so she needed a little name. (Example: fat guy on Roadhouse, named Tinker, big burly guys on movies or tv, usually named Tiny.) Hence, he named her Tinkerbell!! We called her Tink-tink to be cutesy!!
So, there you have it, the Life and Times of Tinkerbell, beloved pet and friend.
Thank you for sharing in my grief!!!!!

Tag! I'm IT!!!

2007-03-31T08:49:00.000-05:00

Gee! Thanks alot, Auntie Cricket!!! I now get to post six weird things about myself!! Can I just say ME in general, and be done with it? I guess not. So, here goes!!

Weird Bri factoid #1: I like a tall glass of milk with my dill pickles as a snack.No, this is not a craving, just a weird habit.

Weird Bri factoid #2: Thanks to my exposure to true life in the ER, I am able to talk about nasty stuff, like dismemberment and vomit, over lunch.

Weird Bri factoid #3: I have almost no gag reflex. My last strep swab did not even bother me!

Weird Bri factoid #4: I sleep every night with the fan on, and one leg if not half my body sticking out of the covers, but the rest bundled under the comforter. I cannot sleep if I am hot, so I freeze myself, bundle up, then stick out a foot to regulate between the two.

Weird Bri factoid #5: I once won a Spanish word bee, the same year I won the school spelling bee. I had to give the meaning of a Spanish word, or give the Spanish version of an American word.

Weird Bri factoid #6: I played an old woman in my high school play my senior. For a month I was Aunt Martha Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace. Basically, I played an old woman who poisoned lonely old men with wine my sister and I mixed together.

Well, there you have it. Some of you knew some of this, some of you did not. Enjoy!
Oh, by the way, I tag Nancy, Savannah, and Brenda!!!

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone!

2007-03-15T08:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that is pretty much how I feel lately! i found out in January I have hypothyroidism, thanks mom!!! needless to say, my thoughts are not as coherent as they once were. I find myself easily confused, and forgetting things as quickly as I remember them, if I am lucky enough to even do that! It has made for an interesting couple of months. I even forgot some movie trivia!!! I know! Big shocker there! I was driving with Justin, and he made a comment about how he knows the car turns like it on rails, that does not I have to turn like it does. I remembered the quote, so I said "Okay, Richard........' Yeah, I could not remember the actors last name. I could tell you the movie it was from, other movies he's been in, but not his last name. It took about 10 minutes for me to remember, Richard Gere!!! DUH! Where's my sign??? Those moments have become a little more frequent than I would like. So, that is my excuse for taking so long to write. Every time I thought "Hey, I need to update my blog!", the thought would vanish as quickly as it came. Not cool! So, I will do my best to update, when I can think about for more than oh, 2 seconds!! Everything else is going okay. Down about 20 lbs. thanks to my doc and all my current health issues. Doing okay in my A & P II class, and work is so-so as usual. Justin is doing good, so is Chaser, and Athena is in a new home. Justin finally realized he did not the time to train and play with a new puppy, and it was not fair to her. She is happy, and gets loads of attention and playtime every day! Well, that is about all I can do for now! Happy very belated New Year, Valentines Day, and early St. Patty's Day!

Starting to unwind......

2006-12-31T20:08:00.000-05:00

Now the fun stuff! The whole unwind thing, means I am back at the horse ranch in Georgia! Mom has 2 horses here, so she comes a couple of times a month. This trip, it is mom, me, Savannah, and Brenda! We are having so much fun!!! We had a gigglefest on the drive up. Hello! 3 young women, stuck in a car, for an extended period of time.....Laughter will ensue! We laughed about songs, people we saw, and bodily functions being expressed! Mom was going crazy!! She laughed too though! She almost spit out her starbucks twice! We were singing, telling jokes, making faces, the whole nine yards!!! We stayed in a hotel last night, then drove over to the ranch. It is really rainy up here, but we have still been able to ride. This morning was short, the trails are closed because of all the mud. The afternoon was way cooler! Mom stayed in to spend time with her filly, Tortuga, so just Savannah, Brenda and I went out. We rode the pasture for a while, then headed in when it started raining harder. Brenda and I saw some people in the arena, and found out we could go in there and trot the horses. We're in!! We had so much fun! We trotted around a couple of times, and did not realize how wet we were until we had to get off the horses. Our jeans were heavier, and our hair was soggy. Our jackets were so soaked, we had wet spots on our shirts. We had so much fun!! We called mom to come get us, but started to walk back. We played hitchhikers when we saw her, I even pulled up my jeans to show a little leg! We had to ride in the van with our legs hanging out so we wouldn't get mud on the carpet!!! We dried off, then played pool and a little uno before dinner. Well that is about all the excitement you can handle for now, so I will blog again later. Bye!!!

Monthly Update

2006-12-31T19:48:00.000-05:00

I am so glad I have been able to get away for a few days. The past month has been absolutely crazy! Let me see.... My new endocrinologist has informed me I have an insulin resistance issue, reactive hypoglycemia, and early hypothyroidism signs. This means a new horsepill to take daily, oh yeah, and a no carb diet. Yeah, had to start the latter right before Christmas! Not too fun! The holidays however, were. We had a get together at mom's friend Terri's, then drove to Green Cove Springs to look at the 2 miles of lights. Christmas Eve I was sick, but still stayed at mom and dads. I got to be the elf. I wrapped presents for mom, then helped put together the deluxe kitchen for the kids. It was cool having a Christmas sleepover! We got up with the kids and did the whole present unwrapping party. We then went to the in-laws for a little while for a trip to Justin's great aunt's house. The next day I was sick again. This time it was a little more serious. I had not been that sick in years! I had a horrible fever, and woke up with sores in my mouth wednesday morning. Yeah, the doctor says I have hand foot and mouth virus. It is just little sores in the mouth, no meds can help, just use antiseptic mouthwash, no kissing, no sharing food or drink. He also said I probably picked it up in the ER from one of the peds patients. Feeling better, still a few bumps though. So, I am taking a few days to unwind with mom. I need to after a month like that!

My Boisterous Baby Brother!!!

2006-12-22T07:16:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! It is so hard to believe my little baby brother is 6 years old today! It seems only a short time since I was changing his diapers and taking him to daycare! Now he is a big boy, in kindergarten, and loving his superheroes! You've come a long way since mornings with Bear and Olie! Happy Birthday Little Bro! I love you bunches! Cowabunga Dude!

(blow on pitch pipe) Ahem...
A happy a birthday to a you, a happy a birthday to a you, a happy a birthday dear....dear...what was the name again? (psssstpsssst) Oh! Very nice! A happy a birthday dear Hunter! A happy a birthday toooooooooo yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! (courtesy of the stork off Disney's Dumbo)

Happy birthday little man, I hope you make the best of it! Love you dude! You are the big 6 today! Woooo-hoooo!

I'm So Tired of Being Here....

2006-11-28T08:36:00.000-05:00

Words made famous by the group Evanescence in their song "My Immortal", one of Kie's favorites as far as groups and songs go. Did okay this month, made it through the 13th alright, no major breakdown like I thought there would be, kept myself busy with school. Of course, the big things come in small packages, right? So it went Saturday night. We were watching Daredevil with Ben Affleck and his now wife, Jennifer Garner. Good movie over all. The deal breaker? Her father dying. They showed the funeral and started playing the above mentioned song, and I had to leave the room. Needless to say, I had the longest, sloppiest, heartwrenching cry that I have had over losing Kierra in a long time. It left me feeling so empty, raw, and vulnerable. That made sleep hard to come by. I moved through Sunday on autopilot, trying to keep my "happy face" on. Each day is supposed to bring you one step closer to feeling better, to the weight of grief gradually lifting, then it seems like the path dissolves from under you, thrusting you back to the moment you dread the most, above all fear, above all else. Still, you search for the way, the path that you were on, to try to regain the person you were, but you will never be again. Everything is different now, life is not, and never will be, the same. Some spark has gone out, the "fairy dust" has disappeared, leaving you grounded, unable to fly above it all, carefree and happy as you once were. Melancholy leaves you as a shell of the person you once were. Will it ever end? Will it ever be okay? Of course not, but as I told my cousin a little over a year ago, it never will be okay, but we have to pretend it is and go on living our own lives. So I do, and somehow we have all made it this far. So I say, job well done to all those who are in this with me, and thanks for being there, through it all. We can make it!

Horse Hair & Fresh Air

2006-11-06T08:52:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! Not too much since last time I blogged, except I just finished out a 5 day break in Georgia. Mom, her friend Dori and I went to Southern Cross Ranch near Madison , GA for a bit to relax. I had not ridden a horse in a year and a half. It was so fun! We all tried barbeque raccon the first night, after Dori had calmed down from an allergic reaction that had her itching from head to toe. She was so funny! Mom and I about rolled off the bed laughing at her! Oooh the dirt I have on Dori now! We rode every day we were there. We got to ride some fantastic horses, and had a few adventures on them. The day we all decided to ride Percherons, we got quite a following. The colt of my horse, Trudy, was hanging out with the filly of mom's horse, Marge, along with another friend of theirs. We were followed around by three young horses for over an hour! Trudy was getting snippy with the friend, and Marge got snippy with Walker, the colt, when he kept getting between her and Tortuga, her baby. We were able to do alot of running on some of the horses though! I was able to get alot of pics too. On Saturday we all got massages to work out the kinks we had picked up from riding. It was my first ever real massage! I actually fell asleep on the table at one point! The dead give away was the snore I let out! My allergies did really good, and the air was so crisp and cool! We actually had to wear jackets AND long sleeve shirts most of the time. We even busted out a couple of sweaters!! I know! It was THAT cold! We went in the hot tub friday, and all decided to jump in the cold, unheated pool. At least, that was the original plan. Mom and I counted down, however, I was the only one to jump. Probably the only time I was able to call my mom a witch with a capital B and get away with it! It felt surprisingly good though, because it numbed my whole integumentary system! We were usually in bed around 930pm, and up around 5am. We played games on Sunday night to stay up later, and I found out Dori is a bad accomplice if you are trying to cheat at cards and pull one over on mom! She was so nervous, she dealt mom one of the cards I needed to win! We laughed so hard mom was tearing up, and I almost peed my pants! I did win at scrabble though, without cheating! It was nice to have the away time, and not have to worry about work or school and stuff like that. Of course, that all kicked right back in as soon as I got home! So much for relaxing this past week! We are wearing our new uniforms at work, and it is the middle of our busy season in the er! On top of that, school is winding up, and the holidays are approaching. Part of me wishes I could fast forward to January of next year, but that is impossible. So I will trudge on, through the season, and hopefully make it to the new year! When can I get away again????

Friday the 13th of October

2006-10-13T07:10:00.000-05:00

Who would have thunk that this day would actually get to me,and not in the whole superstitious way. Yesterday was actually a pretty good day. Went to work, went home, took care of the dogs, went to a movie (thanks Bren!), went back home. Justin was in bed already with a headache, so I went and watched tv. My Wife & Kids was on, then Life with Jim, both funny shows. Then I happened to catch the news while flipping channels. They were doing an update on the trial. Apparently, the doctor filed a motion that says Kierra's own actions were responsible for her death. Since his car did not touch hers, there is not enough evidence to charge him. That is the motion. I just sat in shock. Then the phone rang, with a worried friend on the other end. I finally broke down. I had to call someone and talk. It helped. But still, how could he even try that? It infuriates me to no end. It just makes her death seem even more senseless! It was not for no reason! It cannot be! That would mean that those children have no mother for no reason, my family is missing a vital link for no reason, and I know his cannot be true. I keep waiting for something good to come of this, and it just never does. It's not fair! I know that sounds childish, but it is 100% true.
I stayed up a few more hours after that, unable to feel tired. When I did lay down, sleep did not come easy. I feel so heavy and fragile today, like I could just breakdown again at any given moment. Has it really been eleven months already? Eleven months without my big sister, of wanting her back, of dreading not living with her for the rest of my life? I guess so. Reality bites back hard sometimes. So, here goes another day. Lets hope it ends on a slightly beter note than it started on.

New faces (or snouts as it may be)

2006-10-11T10:45:00.000-05:00

Big news on the homefront! (No, I am not pregnant!) Justin got a new puppy. No, it was not a mutual decision. He saw the puppies next door at his parents house, and was awestruck. How cute! Look baby! I told him we needed to talk about it, but did he listen? Of course not! He walked in an hour later with the puppy in his arms. Look baby! They gave her to me! The result? A very cute, but very wild red-nose pitbull puppy. She is white with tan markings. (pics to come)We have already had to treat her for fleas, get all her shots, and take some pre-emptive measures to make sure she does not have worms. Woo-hoo! However, she is very cute, and is learning to listen. We are planning on taking her to puppy classes to help train her. Her and Chaser are getting along, he likes her. She will be spayed, no more puppies for me! Ohhhh! You probably want to know what we named her, huh?
We had started calling her Athena. Justin said he wanted a strong name. What could be stronger than a goddess of wisdom? He still wanted a full name for her. Since Athena is a Greek goddess, we started looking into Greek translations for words. Turns out, the Greek word for wisdom is sofia, and goddess is thea. Her full name is Athena goddess of wisdom. In greek it is actually goddess Athena of wisdom, or Thea Athena apo Sofia. In Greek script it looks really cool
θεά Αθηνά της φρόνησης
Like I said, a really long name, but pretty cool and really pretty to say. To m, it sounds a little bit like the name game...Banana fana fo fana...you know what I mean! Well, that is about it for now. I have cut back at work, and am trying to focus on my anatomy & physiology class, which is pretty cool. Justin is doing well at his new job, and has applied for a position with one of the doctors. Catch ya later!

Back to Business...

2006-09-16T06:37:00.000-05:00

Justin got a new job!! Justin got a new job!! Justin got a new job!! Justin got a new job!!
Sorry! I think I am more excited than he is! He had an interview at Solantic near our house, and got a new job! He will be a radiology tech again! His official position is a RT/MA, but who cares! He will back in radiology, which is what his degree is for! It is full-time days/evenings, and pays a lot better! I can cut back on my overtime! No more 6 day weeks! Woo-hoo! It has already been a stressful work day, so I am counting down til Monday when he starts! It has been a rough month, so this kind of spread a little ray of sunshine on our humble abode. Anyways!! That is about it for now guys, this kind of overshadowed any other things that have happened, because I honestly cannot remember any right now. Well, TTFN!

Music on My Heart

2006-09-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

There have been a few songs on my heart lately. All are slow, some sad. All remind me of Kierra. Lately it seems harder to think that she is gone. I tried listening to the Beaches soundtrack not too long ago. Big Mistake! I heard Wind Beneath My Wings and lost it. It echoes Kierra and I. She always felt I was the good kid, the one to stand out, I always though it was her. She did so much with her lif. So, this one is for you Kie.

Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh

It must have been cold there in my shadow,

to never have sunlight on your face.

You were content to let me shine,

that's your way.

You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,

while you were the one with all the strain.

A beautiful face without a name for so long.

A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,

and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle,

for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,

but I've got it all here in my heart.

I want you to know I know the truth,

of course I know it.

I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be.

I could fly higher than an eagle,

for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

You're everything, everything I wish I could be.

Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,

for you are the wind beneath my wings,

'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.

You, you, you,

you are the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly away.

You let me fly so high.

Oh, you, you, you,

the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, you, you, you,

the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,

so high I almost touch the sky.

Thank you, thank you,

thank God for you,

the wind beneath my wings.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

2006-08-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

I had an awesome weekend! My birthday present to myself was 2 days off in a row for my August 13th, 22nd birthday! I am so glad I did that! Dad had to work Saturday night, but was able to go to lunch. It is a family tradition! The birthday kid gets to pick any restaurant they want to eat at. We went to Mimi's cafe, and had a good time! Mom and dad gave me a happy gift, that made me cry. It is a butterfly and a pink rose, but on the hook coming out of the rose is a fairy with a purple dress and purple ballet slippers. It was really sweet. It showed Kie was there for my birthday again! That night Manda, Jason, Justin and I went to Kyodai Japanese restaurant. Manda and Jason made me a Scooby-doo cake! It was so cute! Sunday morning we went to church and did our puppet skit for the kids. My mom and Hunter and the twins sang Happy Birthday when I went to pick up the kids for church. Grandma Blomgren called me and sang Happy Birthday to my voicemail, and my Sunday school class sang to me too! Daddy called me that afternoon to say Happy Birthday because he had to work. We did Asian August as a family get together at Terri's in St Augustine. Uncle Randy made banana split cake, and everyone sang to Chad and I. His birthday is next week. I got tons of Tinkerbell stuff! Shirts, a purse, and a matching wallet! Woo-hoo! Aunt Nancy got me a cool antique doorknocker with a butterfly on it, along with a birdhouse. I also got pj's, airheads, a gift card, and a lot of cards. We went over to Justin's parents afterwards and they had cheesecake! I was totally caked out! But it was really nice to see everybody and have a good day. I did not want to wake up and go to work today! But I am still in a really good mood from all the festivities! Thanks to everyone who truly made it a Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Letting the Creative Juices Flow!!

2006-08-04T06:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, in the words of Shirley Temple, Oh my goodness! I have been given a few opportunities lately to write again. It has always been a deep passion of mine. Creative writing has always been a release for me. Give me a topic, ask me to make something of it, I am there! I have done papers on books for English, written Greek myths for the same, and even did a 2500 word essay on the experience of going through a concentration camp during WWII, from a historical standpoint. I love to write this kind of stuff! I can get outside of myself, and just let my mind do its thing! Let me try to explain my mind a little bit for you...
Take an average sentence, like....How was school today?Okay, its a question actually, but still! My mind dissects the sentence, picking out key letters, like the first h,the second w, the first s, the second h, the l, the t, and the d. My mind keeps them in order, but puts them to a rhythm to make the letters flow. It also tries to put a rhythm to the words, and make it flow as well. So, when I was given an opportunity to write a monologue for Noah to present to our children's church, my mind automatically starts recalling what I know, then trying to put a rhythm, or cadence to it. By the time I finally sat down to write, my mind was reeling. I followed the Bible for my inspiration and information, and let it flow out of me. The result? Almost three pages of prose! I followed an abcb style, where the second and fourth lines rhyme. I shocked myself! I typed it up, and presented it to Mrs. Cyndee to look over. Well, she told me what she thought yesterday........
She loved it! She said it was amazing, and that she could tell I put a lot of hardwork into it! I was elated! I had been so nervous about what she would say. Would she want it shorter, or want to add more verses. What, what, what!!! I just sort of smiled and blushed. We decided to use it as a teaser for the kids for that days lesson. I never actually used Noah's name, my mind could not think of a word that exactly rhymed with that. The kids have to guess who it is about, then we will reeanact the storm, with the kids paired up as animals, masks and all. Two by two of course! It should be fun!
Then, I had a chance the same week to write a skit for the Fall of Man from Genesis 3:1-24. I needed to try to write it for Adam, Eve, and the Serpent. The result? A very amusing mini-play. I again followed information from the Bible, but added more dialogue, and stage direction. Again, something I loved doing! I will try to post both.
It is so nice to be able to express my ideas for activities, and lessons for the kids, and at the same time let my creative juices flow out of me to share with others! Just had to share, it sort of made my week to have my work appreciated! It had been a while since I have been able to do anything like that!

Sorry so Slow

2006-08-03T06:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry so slow to write, but it has been crazy around here. Working too much as usual! A few updates for everyone. Justin's truck was totaled from his accident a few months ago. We now own a red 95 jeep cherokee in its place. Justin and I are also part of childrens church now. We will be helping out down there teaching on Sundays, switching out with some other people. It has been fun so far. We meet on thursdays to dicuss lesson plans and supplies for each lesson and its acivities, and delegate differen aspects of the lessonto different people. Speaking of church....
A funny thing happened on the way to (and from) church last night. I had put on a Radio Disney cd I have had for years. The song Just the Two of Us by Will Smith came on. I started dancng and waving my arms, so then I looked back and Tristan was copying me. Hunter was up front doing a hand wave type thing, while Alexa was screaming and laughing at all three of us. The way home we had We are Family and YMCA. Hunter still remembers the letters from Shelia's wedding when mom and I showed him! It was so fun.
I am very proud of myself. I try to clean on my days off, which are few and far between. However, I took both of them this week. I refound the laundry room floor, the top of the endtables in the den, the den floor, and the top of the entertainment center. It took a lot, but it was worth it for the pride I felt in my home. It looks so good! I even moved the dryer and found Justin's favorite jeans, and a pair of his dress pants! I got alot of the laundry done by just sitting in the den and watchng some old movies. It sounds funny, but this allows me to hear both washer and dryer when they finish, and I can sit on the couch to fold clothes and sort socks. It went by pretty fast actually! I wasn't even bored!
Well, enough domestic drivel for now, but at least I have now updated my blog!

Time flies...

2006-06-26T07:08:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that time flies, whether you are having fun or not. Our 1 year anniversary came and went, as did Kie's birthday and the 7 month anniversary of her death. I was so proud of myself, I held up considerably well on her birthday. A friend from work invited Justin and I to Adventure Landing to hang out, and I made myself enjoy it. It was really fun. We stayed til it closed, then went to get a bite to eat. It did not hit me til the next evening. Justin and I were driving out to the beach and passed the place of the accident. It hit hard. I did not thoroughly break down, just shed a few silent ears for her. You know, she would have been 25. Natalie Portman has her same exact birthday. I found it sad that she was able to celebrate and enjoy it, but Kierra could not.
On a lighter note, my cousin Brit in Indiana had her baby girl on June 12. Taylor Marie has entered our lives. She is a beautiful baby from the pictures I have seen. Shelia, a close friend of the family, got married on June 17. I was a very nice wedding, and a very fun reception. Her sister Leslie came in from Maine. It was nice to see her again and be able to hang out. Our husbands got along famously. They are the same age and have a lot of common interests.
I have been slowing down at work, forcing myself to keep my days off simply that, my days off. That does not keep me from working weird shifts though. Prime example: Thursday, June 22, went to St. Augustine with the girls, and was going to work 12a-12p for Friday. Simple enough. Take a nap when I get home, work my shift, take another nap. Was it that simple? Of course not! Little Miss Tinkerbell, my hamster, decided to get out of her cage while I was gone, and Justin did not notice. Instead of a nap, we ransacked the house trying to find her before Chaser, the dog, did. Good news: found Tink in the guest room. Bad news: no nap. So, I stayed up from 8am Thursday til 2pm Friday before I was finally able to fall asleep. And what a deep sleep it was! I did not hear either phone ring the three times they did, or hear Justin come home and take my glasses off!
So, to top this off, I was at work at 3:30am this morning, get off at 2p, and am off til 7a Thursday. I am looking forward to this!

Snap back to Reality!

2006-06-02T07:05:00.000-05:00

Aargh! It has been a very long week. AGAIN! Phantom Saturday was awesome though. It was so cool to watch the actors on stage, no editing or voice overs, just raw talent. I love that kind of stuff! I miss acting! We took the kids to the beach Sunday, and they had a blast! Tristan learned how to throw sand, and Alexa was screaming at the waves. I went to mom's on Memorial Day and helped make food and clean house. I had to leave before I could thoroughly enjoy the spread. I had to work the 3-11 shift for the holiday. Of course, I have been working too much, again. Nothing new there. However, it is really starting to wear me out. I find myself more stressed when I get home, and having more trouble sleeping lately.
Sunday, June 4th, is exactly one year that Justin and I have been married. It seems like it has flown by. So much has happened to us this past year. Some good, some devastating. It is hard to rejoice, knowing that Kie would have turned 25 next Friday, June 9th. I remember calling her last year on our honeymoon, and leaving her a voicemail singing her Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday Kie! Sorry you could not be here to celebrate with us. It will always be your birthday here. We love you!

Life is like a "toco salid".....

2006-05-25T08:09:00.000-05:00

Life is like a "toco salid" all mixed up, a little spicy, a few hard bites, but overall tasty. Or should I say zesty? Of course, you are probably wondering why I spelled that wrong. Me, of all people, who is like a walking spell checker, spelling two words wrong, in a row! Well, simple. Kierra used to spell those words exactly as they appear. She had a habit of spelling things phonetically, or how they sound. I thought about that last night. It was one of her quirks. She had been making a grocery list, and spelled those words, along with a few others, wrong. I used to pick at her for them. She would generally hit me, or call me some four to five letter explicative. This has been one of those rough weeks. I thought about her a lot. Sometimes I cannot help but cry over the times we shared. The memories are still so tender, so raw. They are bittersweet at times. I love to think of her, remember all the good times, remember her face, her laugh. Then I remember it is gone from this world forever. I feel selfish saying or writing it, but I want her back. I want my big sister, the only sister I ever had. She can never be replaced, or set aside. Just held onto, cherished, remembered forever with happiness. I still miss her so much, it seems like yesterday everything happened, when it has been over 6 months. So much has changed.
Justin was in a car accident last Friday. He was stopped with traffic, and a mustang going 45-50 mph hit him from behind. He hit his head, but was okay. He came to the ER and got looked at and they cleared him. It just worried me. He had been on the way home from work, was going to the bank, and bam! I admit I was very scared. It just brought so much back.
Well, on a lighter note! Tuesday was Hunter's day. I took him to the park, to lunch, to his appointment, and then for ice cream. He loved it. We are all going to Phantom of the Opera this Saturday. I can't wait! I love musicals! It is awesome to see them performed live!
Well, I have depressed you enough, so I will let it be for now, and try to write again soon. TTFN!

Busy, busy, busy...

2006-05-19T06:27:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! I have been one busy little worker bee! I hurt my hip last week and had to take some time off, but have been more than making up for it this week. It has been hectic, but I just keep repeating to myself one word to keep going: overtime. That helps some.
Last weekend was busy too. Friday Justin picked up Hunter and he got to stay at our house. We took him to dinner and a movie. He enjoyed the one-on-one time with us. Saturday he and I went to moms to help with the twins and get ready for a mother's day banquet at the church. It was bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, it was very nice, but just rough at times. While the twins took their nap afterwards, mom and I moved some stuff out of storage. We are an awesome team when there is stuff to move. That night Justin and I took the kids to the zoo. My work, the hospital, has an employee night every year. We wore the kids out and kept them all at our house for the night. I got to borrow mom's van too! It was different, but a lot easier with all three kids plus the double stroller. Sunday we took them all to church, and I got to sing in the worship part of the am service. I did okay, but it was a little hard to sing while crying for the first verse! It had been a rough morning. I was overwhelmed by my emotions.
Hunter had his pre-k graduation last night. He was such a little man. He had a part in acting out a nursery rhyme. He was the little boy down the lane for Baa-baa Black Sheep. He gets the acting bug from me! We all went to dinner afterwards, which was also really nice.
Sorry so boring! It has just been a really long week, and I have just worn myself out, but knew I needed to write. I know, I know, I should stop trying to do everything, and learn to pace myself, and not take all these extra shifts, and try to leave on time. What can I say, I am just a good little doobie! I do no leave til my relief is here, and I do not leave if it is really busy either! Sorry! Well, enough idle chit-chat for now. I will try to be more interesting next time!

Memories...

2006-05-04T10:14:00.000-05:00

"Mem'ries,Like the corners of my mind,Misty water-colored memories,Of the way we were...."
Those lyrics were running through my mind this morning. I have thought about Kierra a lot this week. I went to bake cookies last week, such a domestic thing for me, and remembered Kierra had left some in the freezer when she lived here. Tears sprung to my eyes when I opened the container only to find her chocolate stash. It made me laugh too. I had never gone into the container before. It was hers, she left it there, I want to leave it there. Good old Kie, still pulling pranks on me! Then last night, while studying for my statistics exam, I saw the figurine mom had gotten me for Christmas. Two girls on a bench, one long haired brunette, the other with short hair. The meaning behind it finally hit me. One of the last things Kierra and I did together was lay in my bed and just talk. She had a lot of stuff on her mind, and just really needed me to talk to. I kept making her laugh. We had turned on the radio so the guys couldn't hear us, and I would hear a song I knew and sing to her. I miss those times. There has been so much I wanted to talk to her about, questions about stuff in my life I knew she would have answers to. But the answers are gone. I find them in other places. It is still really hard no longer having my big sister. We were apart for so long, both on different paths, and they had finally met and converged into one.
"Then the rainstorm came, over me,And I felt my spirit break,I had lost all of my, belief you see,And realized my mistake,But time threw a prayer, to me,And all around me became still..."
Sorry! That Seal song came to me too. I have a penchant for things like that. I usually have a song in my head, or on my heart. They help me express myself sometimes. I have a passion for music. It has been a kind of release for me the past few years. I guess everybody needs something to help them through things. Well, enough depressing drivel for now. Just had to put my thoughts out there before I got too depressed. Thanks for reading!

Back to Reality...

2006-04-26T12:49:00.000-05:00

Well, the trip was definitely worth it!! I was able to spend some much needed time with my husband, and with some family. Easter was rough. We went to grandma's church, and I saw the gazebo for the first time in a long time. I was holding back tears. I could just picture Kierra dancing with daddy there, her with Darnell, but I just went to the car, then straight back inside. It was not the time to dwell. Brenda and I were able to catch up on a lot. We keep trying to see each other, but our schedules conflict. It was nice to just chill, and to talk again.
Justin loved his birthday gift. We had a very nice time at the hotel, and he was thoroughly surprised! We also had a nice visit with his brother in Kentucky, and we got to spend some time with Brittany as well. A few funny stories for you...
1) Brenda and I got mom to pull over on the side of a 4 lane highway to save a butterfly from her windshield wiper before it died
2) Those room service guys are very chatty. Especially when you are laying in bed, naked under the covers. I understand they are used to that, but I am not!!
3) Never get used to people saying your name wrong. In Indiana, we were playing pool with Brit, when two officers walked in, full uniform, with gloves on and all. They said they were looking for a Brianna Garrison. Yeah, all Brit and I heard was the first name, we both freaked a little! They left, we breathed a huge sigh of relief.
We did some stuff on our own as well. We rode through Amishville, and got some awesome pictures of the land and such. It is illegal in the state of Indiana to take pictures of the Amish themselves. We also stopped at Cumberland Fals in the Daniel Boone Natinal Forest in Kentucky. Over all it was a very nice trip, it just seemed so short! It was a pain to get back to work o n monday!

it Will All Be Worth It, Right?

2006-04-14T06:53:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! I am soooo tired! We leave for Tennessee today, so Justin and I both are at work early. I was here at 5:30am, he got to work around 6am. However, he at least got a few hours sleep last night. Me? I stayed up literally all night getting stuff ready. The good news is I found out where the laundry room floor went, and rediscovered my keen clothes folding skills! Justin is fully packed, and he found another suitcase for me this morning. All I need to do when I get home is put my stuff in it, and we should be ready to go. I am so excited about this trip! Justin never reads my blog, so I can spill my secret for his birthday. He has always wanted to go to a really nice hotel, have a nice dinner, and all that jazz. Of course, nice is like 3 diamonds. So, loving wife that I am, I started saving. For his birthday we are going to the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, TN. They have a really nice package that has champagne, flowers, dinner, and breakfast all included with the room. He has no clue! All I said to him is that it is 6 hours from Dandridge, where we are headed tonight, and six hours from Kentucky, where we will be going to see his oldest brother. I also said there are ducks, which the Peabody in Memphis is famous for. His only other clue is that it is the home of Sun Studio, which is where Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee and all of them got their starts. He was still lost. He was not allowed to google, ask anyone, or try to look up this stuff at all. He is so curious!!
So, here I sit, at a desk at work, until 2pm, trying not to fall asleep, trying to keep busy, keep my mind working, and still remembering stuff I will need to do. I can do this! Hopefully, it will all be worth it....

New Computers!

2006-04-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

Woo-hoo! We finally got new computers at work! I know this sounds corny, but I am actually excited about them! My whole position at work revolves around my computer. Our old ones were always losing the network connection, and had trouble holding a good battery charge. The new ones are taller, better set up physically, and technologically. they are so cool! I know it is weird to be writing this, but I was just so happy about them, I had to share!
Only 2 more days until vacation! Looking forward to seeing everbody and relaxing! Much love to everyone!

Freedom!

2006-04-10T12:30:00.000-05:00

Ah! Sweet freedom! I get one whole week of it! No work, no worries, no things I absolutely have to do! We are going on vacation! For 9 whole days! We leave this Friday, the 14th, and will not be back until the 23rd. We will be going to Tennessee, Kentucky, and Indiana. My grandparents are in Tennessee, my husband's oldest brother and family are in Kentucky, and my Buddha-Boo is in Indiana! Buddha-Boo is my nickname for my pregnant cousin Brittany. Her nickname has always been Boo, Halloween baby, and she has a little Buddha belly. There you go! Buddha-Boo! We cannot wait to see everybody!
The dance exhibition went really well. A few snags, but nothing too horribly bad. Someone actually said I looked really graceful! That word has like, never been used to describe me! Well, not without a note of sarcasm! I had so much fun! The teacher said we all did really good. Manda and I were very proud of ourselves.
Other than that, things have been pretty good. Still working too hard, but that will probably never stop. It is part of who I am! So, until I find time again, tata for now!

Dance With Me!!!

2006-03-28T17:09:00.000-05:00

Woo-hoo! Or, if you happen to be in my ballroom dancing class, Hoo-rah! Today was a blast. We have been working hard for the Spring Fling on April 5th, but we still have fun! The most fun dance to do is the merengue!! We get to shake our butts! Our teacher said it looked like we had a couple pole dancers in there! Namely, Manda, Dani and I! We were the only girls dancing by ourselves! We have a shortage of guys in the class. I considered it an homage to Kierra. She was the queen when it came to shaking that thang! We are so ready to show our moves off!
Mom and I went to a self defense class last night. That was cool! We were shown key pressure points and how to defend ourselves. Then we got to practice on our partners. My partner? Who else? Mom! I got to beat up my mother, and not get into trouble! Of course, she got to hit me back! We took Hunter out for ice cream afterwards, so he thought that was cool, and made me sit beside him! Mom pretended she was offended, so he said he would sit by both of us!!
Needless to say , it has been a good couple of days! Well, catch y'all later! Bye for now!

Glutton for Punishment

2006-03-24T05:39:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I honestly think I am too nice. For example, it is 5:39 am in Jaksonville right now, and I have been at work since 5am. Don't ask. I stayed 7am-7:30pm yesterday, and still made it here today. I surprise even myself sometimes! As rough as it can be, I actually enjoy my job, and do not mind helping out when I am needed. Such is the case this morning. It has been another long week, but it seems like it flew right by me. My husband had to go to Ocala Sunday evening for work, and gets back tonight. His replacement this week? None other than my best girlfriend! Manda came over Sunday night, and has stayed every night since. We have had so much fun! Staying up late wayching movies, girltalk, and even good old Ben & Jerry joined us for a viewing of Rent! (good movie!) One night, we couldn't sleep, even though the clock read 1am, so we stayed up til 4am playing all sorts of card games, including go fish!
We also kicked butt and got alot of the spring cleaning done at the house. Justin and I are in the process of buying, so we had an appraisal wednesday. So far so good! I had a date with mom and the kids tuesday. We did the whole dinner and a movie thing. Curious George was sooooo cute! Red Lobster was fun. The kids just wanted to play! once mom and I got them backt o the house, and all 3 in bed, we did our thing. We curled up on the couch and watched In Her Shoes. It was nice just hanging out with mom again. Manda and I got the twins for church wednesday, and it was fun getting them ready. Their favorite song? My PG version of "my Humps" by Blackeyed peas. "My toes, my toes, my chunky baby toes". This alone sends both Alexa and Tristan into a fit of giggles!
Well, all in all it was a really good week! So, onward and upward, forward to the next one. I still have ballrom dancing tonight at school! i love the class, and am actually pretty graceful on the floor! I know! What a shocker! Most people who know me would say I can barely walk over flat gorund, in my barefeet! But yes folks, I can pull off the waltz, and not look like a fish flopping on dry land! And in heels nonetheless!

Where to start....

2006-03-20T08:26:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh! This is very new to me, so please excuse in advance any rambling I may do. Needless to say, obviously, my life is a little crazy. I never get too much time to tell people how I am doing, feeling, or just simply what is going on. My life has changed alot in the past year, some for the good, some for the not so good. I am a newly wed, very much one of those sappy, yucky, PDA relationships. But we also share alot with each other, and I do not mean just the covers! (we are both blanket hogs!) We have a cute little white house, porch swing and all, with the cute dog, and even ahamster. We also have a snake, but not for much longer.
I work in an emergency room, which is crazy in itself, with or without my presence. You see some pretty disturbing stuff. I am also a very family oriented person. The hardest thing this past year, actually four months and 7 days, was losing my sister. I still have alot of trouble with that. I did surprisingly well at the 4 month mark. It was 2 days later that I fell apart. I had been thinking about Kierra, my sister, alot. The crazy colors she would dye her hair, making generic ramen in Tennessee to the tune of Dreamlover by Mariah Carey, all the little things. Well, I had gone to lunch with my best friend Amanda, and i guess my keepsake heart necklace went into my food. I did not notice until I got home, and felt something crusty on my necklace. Over dinner at Applebee's that night, I mentioned it to my husband casually, while dipping a chip into the spinach dip. His comment, which in retrospect was pretty cute, was that she was hungry. Needless to say, with a mouth full of food, I lost it. It is pretty hard to cry with a mouthful of food! So, I excused myself to the ladies room to let it out. It happens like that. I am fine for a while, sometimes a week, sometimes less, then out of nowhere, something small sets me off.
In the past few months, I have also taken alot upon myself. It is my own fault, so no one take this wrong, please! We take my sisters twin 2 year olds, as well as my 5 year old brother with us all day every sunday. I ove it! I get to have quality time with the kids. The last sunday we had them was especially nice. Tristan(the boy twin) would not take a nap, and Alexa(the girl twin) was zonked out. Hunter(my baby brother) was doing his own thing with a movie. I decided to let them play outside. So, Justin(my husband) mowed the lawn, and I cleaned the porch. The boys had a blast. Playing with the soccer ball, running around the house, just doing stuff little boys do. Then the fun really began. Justin was hosing downt he front walk, and the boys would sneak up behind him, only to get sprayed with hose, and run off screaming! I just sat on the swing, and enjoyed the fun. For a little while at least. Justin heard me laughing, and decided to turn on me! By the time the water war was over, all 4 of us were soaked through, and literally dripping wet! It wa sa blast!
Well, I guess that gets me off to a start. A little background, with some good and not so good times. Enjoy! We are just starting to learn about Brianne's Crazy Life!!